


A Friend Like Theo

by mcal



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Lunch, gift oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 17:44:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20710013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcal/pseuds/mcal
Summary: It's lunchtime and Hermione gets a visit from Theo. Hilarity and fun are bound to ensue.A friendship birthday oneshot for Hystaracal.





	A Friend Like Theo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hystaracal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hystaracal/gifts).

> Happy Birthday, dear friend <3 I hope you enjoy this. You introduced me to this perfect friendship and I'm here to share a bit of that with you. I hope you enjoy.  
M for mild language. 
> 
> Alpha and beta thanks to Frumpologist. All remaining errors are my own. 
> 
> I own no part of the Harry Potter franchise.

* * *

A knock on the door, and Hermione’s world spun. The entire room reeked of something _ foul_, not to mention her stomach had yet to settle from when she travelled by Floo to the office this morning. The knocking persisted, splitting her head more and more with every pound against the ancient wood of her door. 

“Yes, yes—for Merlin’s sake, Draco, _ yes! _ ” Niceties could _ hang _ , he bloody _ knew— _

“Not Draco, buddy.” Theo with his thick mop of brown hair and piercing blue eyes poked through the crack in the now opened door. “Thought you’d enjoy a bit of variety in your lunch company today,” he said, shaking a brown paper take-out bag. 

“Right-oh.” Hermione nodded, waving for him to enter the office, swallowing any now involuntary urge to crinkle her nose and glare at any and all reminders of food. “We could have met somewhere nicer than this if you wanted to have lunch together, though.” 

But Theo was already shaking his head. “Nothing doing, Hermione. As the bard of all stuffed and fluffed literary nuances himself said: ‘_You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes._’” 

Milne. Milne. That name rang a bell…

“You finally started reading Winnie the Pooh books to Noelle!” 

Theo hummed, giving a lazy flick, swoosh, and swirl of his wand, effectively clearing Hermione’s desk of all clutter before plopping the lunch bag down. “She’d begun to lecture me on the importance of nurturing her imagination,” he started, opening the bag, which, to Hermione’s pleasant surprise, did not smell nearly as revolting as she’d prepared herself for… “and just when I wanted to snark back that _ my father _ never read to me, and my imagination is _ far _superior to—”

“SOUP!” Hermione snatched the plastic container from his hand, swearing aloud at how hot the bowl had the audacity to be. Her fingers dropped said bowl of inferno’s flames on her desk, but fortunately enough, the lid was on tight enough, and Hermione’s hand hadn’t been up too terribly high… 

Crisis of mess averted. “Let’s have the plasticware then, Theodore.” Her eyes slid expectantly up to her tall, still lanky-for-thirty, and still standing friend…

And it seemed her crisis of Theo had only just begun. 

“So, I didn’t eat breakfast this morning,” she said, in faux chastisement, which she hoped he’d believe. She offered a weak smile as she accepted the proffered plastic spoon and napkin. “And I’m not sure how you knew that chicken noodle soup would be just the ticket for today, but thus far you’re now the golden snitch to my day.” 

He snorted, rolling his eyes, even as the corners of his lips quirked in an accepting smile. “Much as I’d love to claim all the credit for myself, Draco suggested it’d be in my best interest that I bring soup from that deli we all like when I asked if I could have lunch with you today.” 

Hermione’s breath caught. She waited. Waited for him to fill in any gaps. To see if he _ knew _…

“I’m actually surprised he was so bloody agreeable to this…” Theo continued, giving no indication of any deeper insight into take-out suggestion. Crisis averted. “…He’s too quick to tell me to naff off since the two of you _ finally _got together, claiming I’m too demanding of attention when we’re all together, which is fucking silly, since I’m the one who planted the seed in his mind of how made-for-each-other the two of are in the first place, and really—one would think he’d have the decency to show a bit more gratitude after all these years of monogamous bliss between the two of you.” 

A blink. Then another. Followed by as prim a removal of her take-out lid as she could manage. “I don’t know how much of that I followed, Theo, but regardless—” Hermione dropped her napkin in her lap and curled the container of soup close to the edge of her desk, fighting the instinct to lift it and gulp it all down in one go… “It’s all been so erratic at work lately, I’m not always making it home at a decent hour for us to just be before collapsing into bed.” 

“Typical territorial prat,” Theo sniffed, taking a bite of his sandwich, chewing thoughtfully and dabbing his mouth with a napkin. “But, he’s a Malfoy, and you knew how much of an arse he’d be before marrying him, so…” 

“Indeed.” Hermione smiled into her soup spoon, basking in this beautiful bite of savory comfort. “But truly, Theo,” she said, swiping her napkin across her mouth, taking a moment to assess the state of her digestive track… “It’s not for lack of desire I haven’t made time for just you these past weeks. It’s just been—”

“I know,” he cut-in, smiling that friendly Theo smile that made everything right and beautiful. “I’m here now, so why don’t we just talk, yeah?” 

“Perfect.” 

And so they talked. Of everything and nothing. Especially nothing. Focusing mostly on his and Draco’s potions and Hermione’s latest bill proposal, and Godric, she was grateful for how he didn’t inquire as to why she avoided her carrot chunks in her soup or comment on how she appeared to guzzle down water sips every second bite, just in case her stomach took a sudden and mutinous turn. 

There’d been one very important reason she’d kept away from Theo. And Luna. And Noelle, for that matter. Theo could always tell when she was lying, Luna seemed to know everything before it happened, and Noelle had smelled of sugar quills the last time she’d seen her goddaughter, and it’d been all Hermione could do not to gag on the spot. 

“And so then I get to the part when one of those insufferable animals says something like, ‘_Some people care too much._’”

“‘_I think it’s called love,’” _Hermione chimed in, fond memories of her own mother reading those very words to her once upon a time, at which Theo scoffed, waving his hand airily. 

“Not good, Hermione,” he said, lips flattening into a line as he leveled here with a _ look_. “That’s when Noelle looked up at me, eyes as full and big as Luna’s, announcing to me that she loves Teddy Lupin and is going to marry him when she’s old enough.” 

Laughter broke free from Hermione’s chest, and oh, it felt good to laugh. And just laugh… because laughter was such a rarity under a sea of hormones.

Never mind that Theo sat with a frown that deepened with every passing second. “This isn’t funny,” he declared. “I asked her what age she thought old enough, and you know that child’s answer was ten. _ TEN!_” He huffed, dragging a hand down his face. “And Luna was no help whatsoever, laughing and filling our daughter’s head with visions of love and happy days with lots of chocolate biscuits if she married that ‘darling young boy’.” He sang out the last few words as an imitation that Hermione knew was meant only in love, because Luna was the centre of Theo’s entire existence. 

So, she chose to ignore his indignance, swiping the bowl with her spoon for one final bite. “How do you know it wouldn’t be?” she asked. 

“It probably would be, and that’s the problem! You’ve given us all these story books that fill her head with dreams of other people to fill her life and days, and she’ll go off and leave me someday, and then I’ll be an angry old father who will hate everyone to compensate for the fact that his daughter had the nerve to grow up!” 

Hermione quirked a brow, eyes darting between Theo and the brown paper bag. She could swear there was something else still in there… “That’s not at all dramatic… But in the meantime, was there anything else you brought?” 

“You’re not taking this seriously enough, Hermione,” Theo whined, fishing about in the bag, taking his time, because he knew he could cause Hermione some degree of irritation in a slow-set pace. “My child isn’t supposed to marry a Lupin. We need her to marry a Malfoy heir, thus in-lawing Draco and I all proper-like, giving me a godchild to spoil rotten and pass on my plethora of pranking knowledge to.” 

“Merlin, no!” Hermione groaned, rubbing two fingers against her temple. “No more prank war. Ever. The two of you signed a truce before your wedding, and I’m holding you both to it, even if Luna would be the one to grant leniency to either of you, and _ oh my fucking Merlin_!” Hermione snatched greedily at the clear plastic container Theo lifted out of the bad, mouth already watering. “Lemon bars,” she breathed, deciding this day may just be perfect after all. 

“Mhm…” Theo mused, blinking silently at her as he handed her a fork, withdrawing a piece of chocolate pie for himself. “Speaking of dessert,” he started, pausing for a quick bite of his pie, eyes searing into her lowered forehead as she focused on her lemony-goodness sweet while he continued: “Why are we meeting at your house instead of celebrating your birthday in style tomorrow night?” 

“Still have to work on Friday,” she managed, shrugging and gave a thick swallow, hoping to appear as normal as possible as her eyes lifted to him. “Being an adult means life doesn’t stop for birthdays.” 

He nodded, though, too stiffly for her to not feel something off. “Fair point, but you could call-in and let the four of us all go out somewhere special. Make a big fuss over you and the like…” 

“Not this year.” She shook her head, thinking to herself probably not any other year for a good long while either. “But it’ll be good and fun, and you’ll be there at half five promptly, correct?” 

At that, he snorted, taking two large bites of his pie before responding. “Draco’s only reminded me of the time and location of this intimate birthday celebration every hour on the hour everyday for the last week. One would think it’s my party he’s planning, and not one for his wife… Honestly…” 

He tossed his napkin on the desk with a huff, and he looked so young, so positively pouting and out of sorts, that Hermione later decided _ that _could be the only plausible explanation for what happened next: 

She giggled. 

Theo’s brows quirked in unspoken question. 

Her lips parted…

“You’re not too far from the truth, Theo,” she blurted out before she had any conscious train of thought for what she’d just said. 

Theo’s eyes widened while Hermione clapped a hand over her mouth, her face falling forward to her desk. 

_ Nononononononononononono _…. 

“A surprise for…” He trailed off as she lightly hit her head against the desk, furious with herself. “The soup. Luna’s suggestion for dessert. Your recent aversion to Sugar Quills…” All this he mused aloud, bewilderment lancing through his words. 

Until finally… 

“BLOODY FUCK!” 

“SHHHHH!!!!!” 

She jerked herself upright, hissing at him with a finger pressed over her lips as he sat in his chair, shocked and dumbfounded. “You can’t tell him you know, Theo,” she breathed, shaking her head. “We wanted to keep it a surprise until tomorrow night, when on my birthday, and my first official day into the second trimester we could give you and Luna the gift of news you’re going to be godparents.” A weak swallow followed by an even weaker smile. “If you’d both do us the honour of accepting, that is.” 

He was beaming now, eyes bright and glistening, and full of rare but true serious Theoness… He rose from his seat and walked around her desk, cradling her face in his hands and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You know we will, buddy.” Another kiss to her curls for good measure before his hands dropped her her shoulders and he squeezed tight. “Congratulations, by the way.” 

“Thank you,” she murmured, voice thick and watery, because bollocks, but everything made her cry these days. A beautiful silence fell over them, and Hermione was reminded of how wonderful it was to be Theo’s friend. How there was magic and power in just simply being in each other’s presence, and how he always just seemed to _ know her_, and— 

“Bollocks,” Theo hissed, raking a hand through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck as Hermione tilted her head at him. “Draco’s going to know that I know now.” 

“I thought he told me you were only staying at the house working on potions with him until lunch today…?” she queried, pointing at the food. “It’s part of why he was certain he’d make it to take me to lunch today.”

“It’s not that,” he countered with a shake of his head. “It’s just that I'm going to compensate for knowing by acting too much like I _ don't know _ and then he’ll call me on my shite and the surprise will be ruined… If he doesn’t already find out from you tonight…”

Hermione bit down on the inside of her lip even as a smile so big cracked across her face. “He’ll likely only ask me how I’ve been feeling today and if I managed to make it through lunch without hurling and if he tries to dig for more, I’ll throw him off by peppering him with questions about the potion you two worked on this morning—that is, if I haven’t already fallen asleep.” 

“Ah, the eternally tired phase,” Theo hummed, the hint of smugness filling his expression. “We’ll let that work to our advantage, and I’ll do my utmost to keep it appearing a surprise tomorrow, but regardless, this is brilliant news, Hermione. You’re both going to be wonderful parents.” 

“Thanks, Theo.” 

His head bobbed as he himself back around the table, clearing away their lunch mess. “Annnnndddd, I’ve already thought of the two most perfect names.” 

_ Merlin, Morgana, and all the Founders. It begins. _“Let’s have it,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“Thea if it’s a girl, the perfect combination of the two most perfect names ever, mine and Luna’s… “ He tossed a wink even as she shook her head, smiling still, “… and Leo for a boy. Because any boy lucky to be born to two of the bravest and most stubborn people I know is going to be all Gryffindor, regardless of what house the fucking nutter of a hat sorts him into someday.” 

Another wink and they both dissolved into endless laughter. The laughter of hope, friendship, love, and life. 

Laughter that rang true and bright through Hermione’s heart, lingering and covering her as a thick layer of golden dust—fine, pure, precious, and treasured. 

How lovely life could be sometimes… And what a gift friends like Theo were. 


End file.
